5 Crazy New Ways to Lose Weight

4 min

The Battle of the Bulge is one that many of us are intimately familiar with. Of course, it’s not the eponymous World War II battle that we recall; it’s the battle against love handles a.k.a. cellulite. Over the years, many conventional treatments have been suggested, including:ExercisingEating LessBurning CaloriesCutting out SugarsDrinking More WaterThe problem with all these methods is that they either require significant effort, willpower, or both. Wouldn’t it be nice to lose weight and enjoy doing it? These seemingly paradoxical objectives are entirely possible provided you use novel methods to achieve your goals. One of the most interesting sayings found on refrigerator magnets is the following: ‘Eat to live, don’t live to eat!’ Such aphorisms offer scant comfort to a populace which is desperately trying to shed a few pounds in anticipation of the upcoming summer holidays.Health aficionados, dietitians, and exercise maestros have pooled their collective talents to conjure up 5 inventive ways of losing weight without losing your mind. Without further ado, let’s cut to the chase: Freeze Fat & Suction AwayA medical procedure known as Cryolipolysis freezes fat cells between cooling plates that are connected to a vacuum. The procedure results in cell death a.k.a. apoptosis. This FDA approved technique is not surgical in nature, although it does result in a minor reduction in fat layer thickness. An advocate of this technology, Dr. Matthew Avram believes that it can reduce fat layer thickness by up to 22% over time. However other doctors believe that it has the propensity to result in infection. Whatever your perspectives on freezing fat and the vacuum suction technique, it’s probably best to consult with folks who have had the procedure to evaluate the quality of the results.  DNA Testing for Weight LossEver since DNA testing burst onto the scene, it has been used for a wide variety of applications. Forensic science, medical screening for diseases, illnesses, and syndromes, and genetic testing about metabolizing food and maintaining a healthy BMI. DNA testing for nutritional purposes is rapidly gaining ground as the go-to option for a safe and secure weight loss protocol. Costs for DNA nutritional testing kits typically range from $300 up, and you simply purchase the kit online and take a sample of the DNA from inside your mouth and send it back to the lab for testing.  The best DNA test kits offer you in-depth insights into how your body breaks down foods for absorption and nutrition. The DNA test determines how well your body can metabolize certain foods. The results will give you a clear idea of how your genes work with your diet to maintain a healthy weight. A nutritionist or doctor can interpret the results and put together a healthy eating plan and exercise regimen. This is tailor-made for you in every sense of the word. Chew and Spew Approach to Weight LossIn the movie, The Matrix, Neo, Trinity and their friends were seen eating slop that tasted like whatever it was programmed to taste like. This concept has far-reaching implications for how we perceive food and the benefits we receive from that food. For example, there is a school of thought that believes we eat food simply because we enjoy the taste of it. If we treated food like chewing gum – which we don’t ingest – and simply chew it for the flavour and then dispose of it, we will invariably lose weight. Unfortunately chewing comes with all sorts of other unwanted complications such as excessive acid reflux in the stomach. This leads to ulcers and gastrointestinal complaints. There is very little science backing the chew and spew approach to weight loss theory, since it would not satiate our appetites in any way. However, it makes for an amusing paradigm.    Paint Your Kitchen Blue and Eat LessBefore you dismiss this weight loss theory out of hand, there is a body of evidence suggesting that blue is an appetite suppressant. Believe it or not, various research authorities have discovered that people tend to eat a third less when their surroundings a.k.a. table cloths, plates and walls are blue as opposed to orange, red, or yellow. We’re not sure whether this technique works if blue is your favourite color, so you may wish to perform a taste test with your tastiest foods while watching the Blue Man Group performing at your local Vegas resort.  The Mono DietThe world is full of bizarre weight loss techniques. We certainly don’t recommend contracting an illness like Mononucleosis to lose weight, but the Internet is peppered with literature on how the Mono Diet can help you lose 10 pounds. Luckily, this has nothing to do with mononucleosis – it’s about eating one food item that you love such as vegetables, fruits, or fish all day, every day. This diet is only good if the food is nutritional enough to sustain you. For this reason, you may wish to pick a healthy food such as a banana, fish, or genetically engineered vegetable and stick with it for a couple of days.

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